Now Where Did THAT Come From?

A friend who was born in Vietnam described the differences in the way the elderly are treated in Asian cultures and ours.  A retired person could return to their former place of business and be treated with honor, as a source of wisdom.  In the USA, you used to get the proverbial “gold watch” and then be shown the door.  Now, you don’t even get the watch, and in our current economy, the highest paid (and most skilled) workers are dumped on the curb even before retirement age.

So, it was with interest that I picked up “The Wonder of Aging”, by Michael Gurian.  He points out the differences in what you see if you change your viewpoint to make it start at age 50, knowing that you might have 40 more years of productive life.  Whoa!

He paints a picture of what aging could be if we looked at it in the right way.  We could aspire to grow and develop during our senior years, becoming the examples and mentors for the younger generations.  He calls this experiencing the freedom of “becoming an elder”.  Instead of letting ourselves be disenfranchised by our culture, we would assert our wisdom and influence to make a better future.  Far from being useless or outdated, elders would be valued.

Gurian describes three main stages of growing older:  The Age of Transformation, from approximately 50 to 65 years of age; The Age of Distinction, from approximately 65 to the late 70s; and The Age of Completion, from approximately 80 and upward.  Just like childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, etc., each stage after age 50 has different goals, things that need to be worked through regarding relationships, sex, work, personal growth and spirituality.

Up to this point, I think this book should be required reading for activity professionals, hey, for anybody expecting to reach “a certain age.”  But then, when he gets to end of life issues, he suddenly does an about face about the value of human life after 50.  He promotes assisted euthanasia in cases of certain diseases or dementia.  “Service Deaths” he calls them.  He trots out the example of a friend who as a teenager many years ago was horrified at seeing his grandmother with Alzheimer’s disease confused, restrained in a wheelchair in a nursing home, and asking for ice cream.  We’ve come a ways since then.  Restraints are out.  Dignity and memory care are in.  And since when is asking for ice cream a capital offense??

© Donna Stuart, ADPC   May 14, 2014*

Gurian, Michael. The Wonder of Aging. New York: Atria Books, 2013.

*This article first appeared on the Metrolina Activity Professionals Association Facebook page on 5/14/2014.