Forgettable – That’s What You Are

What would it be like to live in a country that has been taken over by a totalitarian government?  It happens now and then.  It happened in Iran back when I was in college.  I remember tutoring some foreign students in English.  One of them, an Iranian, spoke passionately about overthrowing the shah.   But authoress Azar Nafisi described how things really turned out in her book, Reading Lolita in Tehran.  Though the socialist-leaning college students in Iran were running the revolution one day, they soon found themselves shouldered out of the way.  The better organized, more entrenched, Islamic hardliners were easily able to commandeer the power structure.   What happened next could be called disenfranchisement.  Not only had the leftist students lost their power, they (and especially the women like her) quickly became “irrelevant” in the culture that emerged.  She went from being a respected college professor who wore western clothes, to being forced to wear the hijab, to being forced from her position altogether.  People like her were no longer “needed”, no longer considered to belong to the important side of the culture.

Does this scene sound familiar to our seniors?  I think so.  They know firsthand what it feels like to go from running the “show” to relative powerlessness.  They might have lost control of their finances, their families, their health, their homes, or even their minds.  Life goes on without them or their input.  Their children or even perfect strangers are calling the shots.  Who actually made the decision for them to move to assisted living?  Are they doing the hiring and firing of staff, or setting up the facility budget?  Did they decide to wear a wheelchair alarm?  Did they even decide to stay sitting in a wheelchair for most of the day?

I’ve heard that culture change involves giving the residents more say-so and opportunities to make a difference in the institutional setting.  That way, the institution becomes less that and more homelike.  We can’t fix everything, but we want our seniors to be less “irrelevant” to their own culture.  So how come some of the nicest places spend mega $$ on interior decorating, but don’t allocate any public space for the residents to display their own art work?  Well, it might spoil the perfect image the facility feels necessary to project.  How come some places spend mega $$ on landscaping, but don’t provide opportunities for the residents to be actively involved in the process?  Well, only landscapers can choose a flat of pansies, and resident outings need to be to more entertaining places than the local nursery.

What does it mean to be irrelevant?  Well, how many aspects of your facility are running very–well-thank-you without the residents’ help?

© Donna Stuart, ADPC    11/28/2014

Nafisi, Azar. Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books. New York: Random House Trade Paperbacks, 2003.